I actually thought twice before I uploaded these pictures. Dad looks quite sad and confused in them (reality of ALZ). My siblings, My Mom have all struggled these last 7 years grappling with this horrid disease, and I think I am just starting to break the ice on how its affected me. I miss Dad. Its like a fundamental part of my being is gone. We all joked and called Dad "The Godfather". He seemed to always have a solution and a way and he was always my backup plan. If I fell I knew he would catch us. Its part of the reason why I did all the crazy things I did in my younger age. Dad always called me his favorite, not sure why, probably because I always stuck up for my siblings and most probably because I am a lot like him.
Everyone thinks of him as a pretty crazy man. But he was just so strong. I have never met anyone as strong as him. I remember when I got my wisdom teeth pulled in LA, he said he was taking the next flight out to LA to make sure I was okay. I always felt protected.
I have been pretty lost these last 7 years as I realize I don't have that backup plan anymore. My foundation is all gone. I wonder what life would be like if he was still around...
I wonder how my life would be different if Dad was still mentally with us, everyday. I wonder what Dad would think of my getting laid off, of starting my own company. The advice he would give me. I miss him. He looks very lost in these pics. I guess I don't notice it as much in person.
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