Profound

Coherent Dad

Not sure what brought Dad back to us for those few hours last weekend, but those few hours were amazing. The way he was crossing his legs, cracking jokes, talking to us about how great he is :) Back to the good ole' days. At one point I asked him, "Whats your name?" He looked at me and said "You dont know my name? Everyone knows my name!" Haha. So great to see that's still in him when his mind isn't "resting".

Love you Daddio. Looking forward to the next time you come back to us.

A walk down memory lane

The Car

Dad bought this exact car (different pic) from one of our neighbors for $500. This was at a time when he could've afforded something much better. But that was the type of guy he was. He never bought things for himself, instead focused his attention on family members. It was a great example to set for each of us.

Of course, Jay probably has the best stories on this one. He used to get dropped off to school in this beast.

Dad at home with the ladies

The Malibu

Dad loved his Malibu. He always talked about it. It was his first car and as far as influences go, this is where his love affair with cars started. Can you imagine dad rolling around in one of these bad boys. I can.

The Pantry at Chrisholm

I remember the first time we got home from Costco and filled our pantry up with boxes and boxes of food. Our pantry was full! I don't think it had ever been that full before, or possibly after. It was very satisfying for us to stack up all the cereal boxes and cookies in neat rows. More food than we would ever need. When we were finished putting away all the groceries I remember Dad came by and took a look at the pantry. He said, "It should always be this full."

I've always thought about that moment: the look on Dad's face has never left me. He was so proud of this achievement. As a kid I couldn't understand what there was to be proud of, as an adult I get it I just know I'll never understand it. I'll never understand the worth of a pantry full of food, because I've never had a hungry day in my life. Can you imagine how it must have felt for Dad to have accomplished: "All the food you can ever eat and then some", after years of struggling on the streets of Calcutta.

I always remember those years in Chrisholm as some of the best years of my life. I think they were some of Dad's too. His mind was still there, he could really begin to see the fruits of his labor, seven kids running around, a successful life in America. That moment at the pantry was culmination of years of hard work. I think Dad really felt like he'd made it that evening.

I wonder how he'd feel today? Seven grown successful kids. His real estate business steady and growing. Little grand daughters running around. Such a full life. Imagine if he'd never left Kamalpur?

Nyquil Induced Dad Dream

Yesterday I reading this post by a son who's father was also diagnosed with ALZ. He mentioned that the worst part about it was the fact that even though his Dad's was still alive, his memories with and about his Dad basically ended as soon as he was diagnosed with ALZ. That statement really hit home for me because the last memories I have of Dad are not when I saw him last Sunday, or when I will see him this upcoming Sunday, but of 2003 and older.

Anyway, I read this article as I took two cups of Nyquil and was about to go to sleep. (I am feeling under the weather even at this moment). Anyone who has ever taken medicine like Nyquil knows how weird your dreams can get and how you wake up remembering them with such great detail.

As you can guess, my dream was super bizarre. We were at Dad's funeral, open coffin, it was a viewing of him and it was in a lecture hall, full of people we didn't know but that he had touched. In the middle of a speech by some random, we (me and Anita) all of a sudden saw Dad get up from his coffin and just start walking out. I yelled "DAD!" Dad replied with "Hain, Beta. Let's go!" And we followed him just like that. Didn't even question his immortality. He strutted out of that lecture hall with his confident strut. We then took some back exits to the outside of the building, it was Mom, Dad, me and Anita. Dad looked at Mom and said "Are you Kunty?" to which Mom replied "Yes." And Dad said "Now I remember. I remember everything." We then walked outside and saw Sandhya, Pankaj, Jayant, Anju and Pinki playing in the snow. We joined in and it was like a Happy Ending to a movie. I woke up hearing the echos of his "Hain Beta." I can't remember the last time I heard him say that, but it was so loud and real in my dream.

I am not sure what that dream means, if anything...or maybe it just shows how weird I really am :) But I had this strong hope of Dad's immortality and maybe he would win the fight against Alzheimer's. I know that most likely he will not, but I woke up with a smile because even if it were just for those 2 minutes, I was with the Dad that I will always remember.

Strong, confident, immortal Dad.

The Chase

We each have a different relationship with Dad. Jay's with Dad is so hilarious. Jay will go into Dad's room bother him to the point where I randomly see him chasing Jay down the hallway. It's pretty hilarious and special at the same time.

Dad Quick Interviews

Not sure if you guys can see this, but let me know. Just some quick convos I had with Dad this past weekend. We should take more video of him while we can:

http://www.youtube.com/user/renuprasad#p/a/u/1/YSHEuJJdWfQ

Dadisms

When in doubt go back to something dad would say:

Fortune favors the bold.

(one of my favorites).

Mom and Dad dancing at my wedding 7 years ago

I found this ultra cute pic of Mom and Dad dancing at my wedding 7 years ago. My Mom looks so happy here. My Dad was showing signs of Alzeihmers back then. He forgot names, got stuck during his reception speech. None of us suspected Alzeihmers.

9 Steps to reverse dementia

Interesting article by Dr. Mark Hyman:

http://www.ultrawellness.com/blog/9-steps-to-reverse-dementia?utm_campaign=2602-07012010&utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter&utm_content=default

Recently, I spoke on a panel for PBS TV at the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) convention in Boston. The topic was dementia.
There was a woman with mild cognitive impairment on the panel. Her condition is sort of like pre-Alzheimer's disease. Everyone on the panel -- including the Harvard neurologist -- agreed that memory loss is NOT a normal part of aging. The sad part was that the panel didn't have much to offer people in the way of prevention. Their only solution was just a very bad and pretty ineffective selection of drugs with lots of side effects.
But there is another way to think about brain aging. The brain responds to all the same insults as the rest of the body -- stress, poor diet, toxins, lack of exercise or sleep, nutritional deficiencies, and more. All we have to do is give the brain a tune-up and we can see miracles. In today's blog I will give you nine tips that will allow you to do that. But first, let's look a little more closely at the magnitude of this problem.
Dementia on the Rise
Dementia is a big problem and growing every day. Ten percent of 65-year olds, 25 percent of 75-year olds, and 50 percent of 85-year olds will get Alzheimer's disease -- at a cost of $60 billion a year to society. Worse, the number of people with Alzheimer's is predicted to triple in the next few decades. It is now the seventh leading cause of death.(i)
I believe this preventable, that we can slow this trend and even reverse it. In a moment, I will tell you how. But first I want to explain why just naming a disease -- whether it is dementia or anything else -- is becoming increasingly unhelpful (unless you just want to match the drug to the disease which is the only thing doctors are trained to do).
We have to think about individuals, not diseases. In medicine, our genetic differences are more important than our similarities.
Sometimes the practice of medicine lags behind the science, and sometimes the practice gets ahead of the science. Genetic testing puts us squarely in the middle of that dilemma. We are at a crossroads, where the old ideas we have about disease and diagnosis become less meaningful as we understand more and more about the importance of individual differences in determining illness. This a time when personalized medicine will replace medicine based on diagnosis and disease.
In fact, disease and diagnosis as we know it will soon be an obsolete concept, an artifact of medical history, like bloodletting or phrenology (the art of diagnosis based on the shape of your skull, popular in the 19th century). The reason is simply this: Naming a disease does nothing to help us identify and treat the underlying causes of the disease. We must address these causes if we have any hope of helping individuals heal.
I'd like to illustrate this through the story of one of my patients who had a diagnosis of dementia.
Treating Individuals, Not Diseases
George and his wife came to see me because he could no longer manage his business affairs, had become increasingly unable to function at home, and had to withdraw from family and social relationships. He was desperate as he felt himself slipping away.
There is no effective known treatment for dementia. But we do know a lot about what affects brain function and brain aging: our nutrition, inflammation, environmental toxins, stress, exercise, and deficiencies of hormones, vitamins, and omega-3 fats.
It is not just one gene, but the interaction between many genes and the environment that puts someone at risk for a chronic disease such as dementia. And we know that many things affect how our genes function -- our diet, vitamins and minerals, toxins, allergens, stress, lack of sleep and exercise, and more.
Even though no long-term studies have been done to look at treating dementia based on genes, there are so many scientific threads that weave together a picture of how and why our brains age and what genes are involved. This leads me back to George ...
For this man, whose mind and life were evaporating, I looked deeply into his genes and the biochemistry his genes controlled and found places where we could improve things.
He had a gene called apo E4, which is a high-risk gene for Alzheimer's disease(ii) and also made it hard for him to lower his cholesterol and detoxify mercury from his brain.(iii) He also had a version of a gene for detoxification of metals and other toxins (glutathione-S-transferase, or GST)(iv) that was very inefficient, making him accumulate more toxins over his lifetime. Having the combination of a problem with GST and apo E4 puts people at even more risk for dementia.(v),(vi) In another study, people with an absent GST gene were likely to have much higher levels of mercury.(vii)
George had another gene called MTHFR(viii) that made him require very high doses of folate to lower his blood levels of homocysteine, which is a substance very toxic to the brain. Lastly, he had a gene called CETP that caused his cholesterol to be high, which contributes to dementia. Combine this gene with the apo E4 gene and your risk of dementia goes way up.(ix)
We found that George had high levels of mercury(x) and helped him detoxify with foods such as kale, watercress, and cilantro, herbs such as milk thistle, nutrients such as selenium and zinc, and medications that helped him overcome his genetic difficulties by getting rid of toxins.
We lowered his cholesterol with diet and herbs. We lowered his homocysteine with high doses of folate and vitamins B6 and B12.
What happened then was impressive ...
After a year of aggressive therapy that was matched to his genes, not his diagnosis, he had a remarkable and dramatic recovery. Before I saw him, he could not manage his business, nor did his grandchildren want to be around him. After matching his treatment to his genes, he was again able to function, and his grandchildren loved being with him again.
While this area of genetic testing and nutrigenomics is new, and more research is needed to help us refine our understanding and treatment, there are ways to look through new doors into an entirely new era of medicine that no longer focuses on the disease, but on the person and their uniqueness. Here's another example of how we can do that.
A woman named Christine was eighty and was experiencing severe memory loss and cognitive decline. Her family was obviously concerned, so she was tested with hours of neuropsychological testing and found to have dementia.
Her neurologist offered her words of comfort, but told her and her family there is no treatment truly effective to stop or reverse the progression of dementia. That's when her daughter brought her to see me.
We discovered many subtle changes in her health that on their own wouldn't explain dementia, but when added all together put a strain on her brain function. All we did was correct those problems -- low thyroid function, mercury toxicity, inflammation, and deficiencies in vitamins B6 and D, folate, coenzyme Q10, and omega-3 fats -- and improved her diet overall. I encouraged her to exercise, because exercise can help improve cognitive function and prevent dementia.
Six months later, she had the extensive memory tests repeated. Her psychologist was surprised to report that her scores got BETTER!
To put this in perspective, mental decline happens progressively, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but NEVER gets better -- according to our traditional medical thinking.
But just like we once thought that heart disease and artery-clogging plaques couldn't be reversed (and now have proof that this does happen), I believe dementia can be reversed (if caught early enough) by attending to all the factors that affect brain function - diet, exercise, stress, nutritional deficiencies, toxins, hormonal imbalances, inflammation, and more.
It is really quite simple. Like everything I describe in UltraWellness, you get rid of the bad stuff, put in the good stuff, and the body heals. It's common sense, but we are so far from that in the way we treat chronic illness with conventional medicine.
So if you know someone with memory loss, look at all the keys to UltraWellness extremely aggressively to find what imbalances are present and how to fix them. Remember, there will be no one treatment that works for everyone, because everyone is different. But here are some things to think about if you or a loved one are experiencing memory loss or dementia.
9 Steps to Reversing Dementia
Start by looking hard for correctable causes of memory loss. They include:
• Pre-diabetes or metabolic syndrome
• Low thyroid function
• Depression
• Deficiencies in B vitamins, especially vitamin B12
• Omega-3 fat deficiencies
• Mercury or other heavy metal toxicity
• Vitamin D deficiency
• High cholesterol
• Unique genes that predispose you to nutritional or detoxification problems
Doctors who practice Functional Medicine and follow the principles I talk about in UltraWellness can help you find these problems.
Once you identify the underlying causes of the imbalance, here are a few things that can help your mind get a tune-up:
1. Balance your blood sugar with a whole foods, low glycemic diet
2. Exercise daily -- even a 30-minute walk can help
3. Deeply relax daily with yoga, meditation, biofeedback, or just deep breathing
4. Take a multivitamin and mineral supplement
5. Take an omega-3 fat supplement
6. Take extra vitamin B6, B12, and folate
7. Take vitamin D
8. Treat thyroid or low sex hormones
9. Get rid of mercury through a medical detoxification program
This is just a start, but it can go a long way to giving your brain the chance to heal and recover if you have memory problems. Even if you aren't suffering from cognitive decline, you should take these steps because they can help you prevent the aging of your brain and obtain lifelong health.
Now I'd like to hear from you...
Have you noticed memory loss as you've gotten older?
What have you done about the problem so far?
Which of these steps do you plan to follow?
Do you have any other recommendations?
Please share your thoughts by adding a comment below.
To your good health,
Mark Hyman, M.D.

Happy Father's Day Dad, We all Love you and Miss you!

Happy Father's Day

Some great stories on Father's day by Renu and Anju, really brought back some great memories.

I think it's pretty great how we are choosing to remember the great things about dad... it's all about what you focus on. I am so grateful that Dad let go with us. After college or at some point during he basically just let go. He didn't help us buy a car, find a job, choose a life partner, pick a path. I know there have been times when I wish Dad was more involved, but him letting go forced me to learn. It really forced me to fail and learn. Nothing is a better lesson than failing. There is only so much hand holding a parent can do.

I do believe somehow he remembers who we are... Thank you for all the good times and knowledge.

Happy Father's Day Dad!

Year after year, Dad always had the same reaction to us greeting him on Father's Day:

Us: Happy Father's Day Dad!
Him: Am I your Dad? (Jokingly of course)
Us: DAAADDDDDD! (Annoyed)

Today as Dad walked down from his room, I said "Happy Father's Day Dad!" to which he looked at me and didn't respond. The ironic thing is, in his head he was probably thinking "Am I your Dad?". Boy did I miss and long for his usual reaction.

I hope that he knows how much we love him and how much we appreciate everything he has done for us. He is such a superman figure in our lives and I am glad we celebrate this day to honor him and all of the other amazing Father's out there. They really do deserve one day of the year to be named after them.

Dad, I missed your sarcastic reaction today. I hope you can remember us giving you our school made presents, or the yearly Levis jeans + collared shirt that Mom would buy you every year for us to give you. We remember all circling around you, handing it to you, and you opening it so carefully pretending to not know what was in there. (Only to get the same present year after year :) )

I hope you can feel the appreciation that we have towards your love for books and how you have instilled that in each one of us. I hope know what a sense of family you have built into each one of us. Mostly I hope you know that you love for adventure and taking chances is instilled deeply in each one of us. And we'd like to Thank you for that amongst many other things.

So to all the Dad's out there, Happy Father's Day. Thank you for everything you do. You make the world go round!

Happy Fathers Day! Daddio!

I just wanted to write this quick post before I head over to Boit to celebrate Dad! Today is Father's Day and I woke up thinking of Dad and what all the past fathers day's were like. Every Sunday Dad would walk over to the local market, and pick up the Sunday Paper for $.25 and those of that wanted our OWN paper would go with him and quickly grab one when he pulled out his. Then we would walk back, sit on the front porch in the warm sun, read the paper together and greet the neighbors! I still love sitting on the porch soaking in the rays greeting the neighbors!

Dad, I just want to say, Thank you for helping me find me and allowing me to be brave enough to do the things in life that I want to do. Thank you for teaching me respect, confidence, pride and perseverance. I am who I am today because of all the little things that you taught us. Today we celebrate you~

Love and miss you,

Anju

Dad In My Head

I, as well, often wonder what feedback/advice Dad would've given us at this stage of our life. I'm sure he would have a million things to say to the Prasad's who have started their own businesses (given his own hand at building up Microlane) or those of us who have remained in Corporate America (I think he probably worked at every Fortune 100 company in the Bay Area at one point or the other :) ).

I would do anything to see his expression on when I found out I got a job at Google. I can only imagine/hear him saying "GOOGLE! Mar dhiya haath!"

But I know everything happens for a reason, and even if he isn't guiding us as he used to, with his actual voice, he definitely is guiding is in our heads. We all can hear how he'd react to different situations in our own heads, and even mirror his reaction making Dad still a reality.

I do miss Dad as well, but I am grateful that I can still hear him in my head, guiding me with the wisdom he instilled in me and us for the first 20 something years of our lives. I hope to have even a percentage of this type of impact on my kids.

Your inner-Balesh

When I saw the pictures sandh posted of dad, I too thought he looks lost. I then read the Small World post Anita wrote and thought, what if its our interpretation that is lost. It could be just as he planned. Lets take the ugliness of the physical realities of the condition aside for a minute. What if underneath all that dad was still silently observing his life work. That of his 7 kids striking out on their own and his wife doing the things she never had the confidence to do when he loomed so large around us.

Dad made his own rules. He never had anyone guiding him nor did he ever seek out any higher being to help him justify his being. His independence and dominance were unquestionable. He didn't know how not to live like this. His life experience would not allow him to cede the spotlight to those around him. How could we ever grow up with his presence so large? How could he watch us thrive silently without imposing his own will? We all relied on his confidence so heavily that our own was at stake. Perhaps this is the only way he knew how to do allow us to develop this while still (albeit tragically) being with us.

His condition has given us all something we may not acknowledge. In this journey we've all come together to form a bond the likes of which he could never have normally orchestrated. We act as one, taking care of and supporting one another. Individually, we've stepped up to whatever challenge is thrown our way and live our lives in manner I know he is proud of. We all have formations of his strong will and free thought pursuing unconventional paths that despite our perception of being status quo are far from. Have you ever told an outsider the make up of our nucleus and watched the amazement that comes across their face.

By effectively stepping aside, he is only beginning by instilling himself into each one of us.

Channel your inner-balesh when you miss him, he's not lost, see him in yourself. I know he does.

I miss Dad

I actually thought twice before I uploaded these pictures.  Dad looks quite sad and confused in them (reality of ALZ).  My siblings, My Mom have all struggled these last 7 years grappling with this horrid disease, and I think I am just starting to break the ice on how its affected me.  I miss Dad.  Its like a fundamental part of my being is gone.  We all joked and called Dad "The Godfather".  He seemed to always have a solution and a way and he was always my backup plan.  If I fell I knew he would catch us.  Its part of the reason why I did all the crazy things I did in my younger age.   Dad always called me his favorite, not sure why, probably because I always stuck up for my siblings and most probably because I am a lot like him.

Everyone thinks of him as a pretty crazy man.  But he was just so strong.  I have never met anyone as strong as him.  I remember when I got my wisdom teeth pulled in LA, he said he was taking the next flight out to LA to make sure I was okay.   I always felt protected.   

I have been pretty lost these last 7 years as I realize I don't have that backup plan anymore.  My foundation is all gone.   I wonder what life would be like if he was still around...

It's a Small World...

Through Dad and Rekha's eyes I'm reminded of how small the world is. When we are first born our world is our family and our home. As we grow our world grows, we add in friends, school, classmates, colleagues. We go out and explore and travel, we want to see the world. We know Dad saw so much of the world. He moved from Bihar to Calcutta, from Calcutta to Philadelphia, he lived all over the US. We are constantly growing and expanding our universes... It amazes me how much Dad's world has shrunk. A couple of weeks ago when we took Dad to the hospital he kept asking Mom to show him how to go upstairs. He wanted to go to his room and go to sleep. His entire world is Kunty and Boitano. It is a small world after all.

Bachwan

Living with Dad I get to hear all of his constant babbling, most of which makes no sense. Today he asked me to bring him all of his bachwan (kids). I said which ones, he said all of those little kids that I have. He asked "Where did they all go? They must be playing." Isn't that the cutest thing.

I'm not a parent, so I don't know what it must feel like to be reunited with your kids every evening after a long day at work. I just know that Rekha coming to Boitano on some random day makes all of our day. Can you imagine how dad used to feel as he headed home, knowing that at home awaited seven children. I mean that must been something.

I guess he still thinks of us as little bachwans. So precious.

Happy 39 Years Mom and Dad!

Mom and Dad never really celebrated their anniversary. Growing up, our gift to them was some sort of video production of us dancing to a Bollywood song that the older children orchestrated, and we would play it for them with a reaction of "good" or "thank you". I remember on a few occasions Dad would get Mom a sari or go into a jewelry store with the right intentions but walk out empty handed, shocked about how much gold had risen to. (Imagine his shock if he knew where it was today!).

I think it's great how supportive we are with Mom, all heading to Boitano to have dinner with her, getting her flowers, etc, but I wonder what she is going through internally on this day.

I hope that however she is feeling, Dad's constant asking of "Kunty" today, reminds her that the man that she's been married to for 39 years does/did love her.

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad!

I can teach you

During his days in Calcutta, Dad sustained himself by tutoring rich kids. Because math and science came naturally to him, he was sought after by his classmates to tutor them in the subjects. The stories he told of his tutoring have become more stuff of legend. In his later years one of his favorite comebacks in any situation regardless of what was said was, "I can teach you." We all heard him say this to our teachers, the car mechanic, the grocery store clerk, even himself sometimes.

Dad and my forged signature

We could all remember the funny aspects of Dad like him yelling "Doooooorthy!!!!" at six a.m. and him leaving the bathroom door open whenever he would use the restroom, but there was one instance where Dad showed his true parental side towards me. I was in the eighth grade and I got a C- on a History test. Unfortunately for this class a parent signature was required for all tests under a C. This was the beginning of a new quarter and Dad just yelled at me for my previous report card so there was no way I was showing him a C-. I had no choice but to forge the signature. The next day my teacher looked at me and asked me "Who signed this?". She told me that I was going to talk about this issue with the Vice Principal the next day so I had to tell Dad about the test and his forged the signature. That day I went up to Dad's room to see him sitting there with his thick frame brown glasses sitting Indian style on his bed reading a some programming language book. I told him about the C- and forging the signature to obviously get yelled at, but he also told me that he would tell the principal that he signed the test so I would not have to go to Saturday School. Due to the lack of precision in the signature I was forced to confess to forgery and I was Saturday school bound. They called Dad and told them that I forged the signature and I talked to Dad on the phone while sitting in the office and in these words he said "You know what I am proud that you told the truth so now you have to face the consequences for your poor decision." Every other time I got in trouble before and after this issue his reaction to my problem was anger, but I still to this day wonder why his reaction was so calm and collected for the forged signature.

Lines

Dad was definitely reminiscent of his childhood, but rarely spoke of his parent's parenting. I don't know if this is only western thing to do, but I can't help to think back on some of the things dad did for us that had a profound impact on our lives. Because it is a well known fact that he ran away from his own home at a young age, its clear that his own parenting was largely figured out as he went along. I do think he experimented quite a bit (much to some of the elder Prasad's dismay), but you really hit home on a couple of things.

One of them was, everyday, regardless of the day, under any circumstance, we had to write a full page story. It was called "lines." I fondly recall turning the page of those KMart notebooks and twisting and turning every story I could think of to fill out a page. Sometimes, we'd write with really big handwriting. Others we'd paraphrase a book we read, or just write about our day. There was no excuses. Resistance was futile.

No discussion of my childhood is complete with out broaching the subject of lines. My father, being the engineer he was, lacked creativity but bore through each sentence looking for technical grammar or punctuation mistakes. He was militant about our hand writing, often making us rewrite any "lines" that were unsatisfactory. We'd then have to show him the rework.

He would have us read one another lines, make corrections for each other, then he would read them to ensure that we were writing well and also able to correct others work.

What was your favorite "lines" memory?

Inspiration

I've always been inspired by dad's accomplishments. Every time I think I have it bad, I simply think about dad laying there after his family of 8 is sleeping thinking about what he has to do tomorrow to make us believe that life is good. I think back to him sitting in that park he studied in probably because it was the only thing to keep him sane in the chaos around him. I think back to the times he slept in his apartment in Philly exhausted after working over time in that machine shop taking the bus in the snow. He doesn't think much now, but what must he thought when he left that gate at St Xaviers for the last time, his whole life ahead of him having accomplished more than anyone could have imagined of him and yetnnot even scratching the surface of his own potential. It's hard to imagine, but humbling to acknowledge.

Thank you Pat for paying tribute to Dad. I'm sure his reaction would have been something along the lines of, you went WHERE? Safe travels! Looking forward to the stories!

Will They Follow?

You don't know how your life will inspire the people around you. Dad was one of those people that never missed an opportunity. He took every chance he got, and by chance (and determination) he made it. Anyone that has trekked to Kamalpur could easily see the amount of sheer luck and determination that helped him make it to Calcutta. Anyone that has walked through Calcutta can imagine how hard it must have been for him to remain focused on his goal. One of our neighbors is walking through dad's old stomping grounds in Calcutta. Dad's life has inspired him enough that he detoured on his trip through Asia to see Dad's Calcutta. You never really know how far your actions will go. Dad lived his entire life taking risks and moving forward. His example has been great inspiration to us and the people that knew him.

Thanks Pat for visiting Calcutta (Kolkatta). Send us some pictures.

Dad and his sayings!

I can not believe how much influence Dad has had over me. Today sitting with all my siblings, talking to them about the job market, and realizing that its all about getting help from your network, the first thought that came to my mind was "NoBody Helps me!" in Dad's voice! HAHA! I mean its wonderful how we are keeping his spirit alive in good fun!

I have so many moments in the past couple of years, where my reactions or sayings are always something Dad would have said out of seriousness and I am saying to find comic relief for the current situation. Thank you Dad for all the great sayings and phrases!

Go Pat for trekking through Calcutta, Dad would have been so excited to have a conversation with you about it! Amazing!

Did they make the grade?

As parents, Anish and I have been working quite hard at providing our daughter everything we think she needs to be happy (confidence, love, attention, experiences) and we spend an INSANE amount of time making sure we are doing a good job.  We read parenting books, read blogs, analyze every Rekha move to see if this is a reaction to something... and at the end of the day we grade ourselves on how we did.   In contrast I reflect on how my parents handled the whole parenting task.  I don't think my parents thought at all.  Of course they had 7 kids to raise so they would go crazy if they thought about each of us as much as I think about Rekha.  But in retrospect, my parents didnt plan, didnt purposely do things with us to boost confidence, and certainly didnt read any parenting books.  At the end of their day I am sure they just passed out from exhaustion rather than grading themselves.  So did they do a good job? What grade would I give them? Not sure....

Silent Night

To think that on Monday night Dad was sleeping on a cot in Kamalpur and then on a Wednesday night he was sleeping on a bed or couch of his friends house in America is just unthinkable for me. I wonder what his first impressions were of America? Our dear neighbor is in Calcutta today experiencing the hustle and bustle of a new country and it only made me think about how different each country is. Dad must have been shocked about how quiet it was. Noise was the first thing I noticed when I went to India. Whether it was a cow or an elephant or the nightly bharaths, India never sleeps. That first night in America must have truly been life changing for Dad in so many ways.

Bollywood Genes

Anyone that knows our family, knows that we are HUGE Bollywood fans. You cannot go more than 3 minutes in conversation with one of us and us not relate the talk to either a Bollywood song or movie. I give Dad full credit for instilling Bollywood in each one of us. Instead of going to a restaurant on the weekends, or the movie theater, Dad would go to our nearby Indian Movie rental store, Deep Imports, and rent 2 movies for us to watch as a family. He was a HUGE movie fan. He even skipped school (which is unheard of with his work ethic) to go and see Dev Anand, who was shooting a movie nearby. Poor guy, only ended up seeing the top of Dev Anand's head- Til this day Mom laughs at this story, but I can only feel for his frustration as I can only imagine how irritated I would have been only seeing SRK's head when he was here in San Francisco.

Driving around in Dad's old rust colored Volvo, he was such a music snob. He would play music mostly from Dev Anand movies. Here are two songs that remind me of him. Everytime I hear either of these songs it brings me right back to Dad singing them or him making a comment about how great of an actor Dev Anand was, "No one can beat him". Love Daddio.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9oQZQvCQqE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQfqq8dcds8

Love this picture of Dad

I have this one on my walls, just thought I would share with you.  We are in DC in this picture for my second wedding reception.  He looks quite handsome eh?

Help Fight ALZ at the Congress Level

By signing up, you are asking Congress to support legislation to significantly increase Alzheimer research funding, improve detection, diagnosis and care planning, and launch an integrated federal campaign to overcome Alzheimer’s disease.

http://www.kintera.org/siteapps/advocacy/ActionItem.aspx?c=mmKXLbP8E&b=5842237&aid=1144

Are we stable?

It's been about a month since we started Dad on some vitamins and some attempts of a diet change. I make sure Dad gets his vitamins by adding them to his Ensure shakes daily. Changing his diet has been pretty difficult, but we have successfully added chia seeds to his jam sandwiches, which is a great protein and omega 3 boost. Still haven't found a good replacement to wheat... though I personally don't think Dad's allergic to wheat. I saw some immediate improvements, but I think they were due to the Ensure drinks. One of those drinks has more protein than what Dad has had in over a year. That has to be a rush to his body and his brain.

You know, I am not kidding myself. I don't think Dad will have full recovery, or even a 10% recovery from the vitamins. I'm just hoping for some stabilization. Watching him slip from one stage to another is devastating. I know he doesn't know who I am, and he can't really hold a conversation with anyone. I just want him to continue to be able to find the bathroom himself. If he can continue to remember to shower, even if it's once a week, I'm happy. He remembers Mom, and that works for me. He loudly and happily sings two or three songs (he made them up), I'm good with that too.

Today I asked Mom how she thinks Dad's doing? She said, he hasn't gotten worse. Stabilize, that's all I'm asking.

Team Balesh Stage 2

Dad’s condition never sat well with me. How could a mathematically gifted man, who defied fate, fall victim to what could only be described as a hereditary ailment? His will is the talk of legends in his hometown, his independence the envy of those who emigrated to the United States with him and yet his current condition leaves him to burden everyone around him. This is not the way he would have had it. It just doesn’t sit well with me.

It has been 5 years almost to the date that Dad was originally diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Our family has come a long way in the journey to accept, accommodate and apply the recommendations of dealing with the ailment. Dad has also gone down an interesting journey, to say he is better would not be accurate. To say he is worse would also not represent his reality.

5 years ago my mentality towards dad was pacify him so that he could live the remainder of his live in some kind of peace. His constant anxiety attacks and stressful rants were too much to bear for himself and for everyone around him. Today I can say that, although there are still some trying times, we are successful in reaching this milestone. He is a calm man, whose at last showed affection towards all of us.

With the stress and anxiety removed, dad pacified and mom having gotten past the more difficult stages of reconciliation, I think its time to shift our mentality again. It never sat well with me why dad became the way he did and the truth of the matter is, while the oldest of us has at least 30 years until we face the hereditary lottery, there is no harm in trying to figure out why? Scientifically, not philosophically.

The doctors have all but written off Dad. His neurologist won’t take an appointment with him. His general practitioner was more nervous that Dad was at their last appointment. The social worker while nice in that she makes an effort, is an idiot.

This leaves us to think and act through this. Luckily for dad, he raised 6 college educated children. It was Anish that set me down this thought train with the book Ultra Mind Solution. Why would dad, a brilliant man, mind start to deteriorate so quickly?

There is no way to redefine the future without studying the past.

Dad’s mental decline over the past 2 years is pretty simple to understand. He simply does not eat anything nutritious. His diet consists mainly of Parle-G cookies and very little dinner. He does not eat consistently and craves only sweet food. He has very low energy, sleeping for most of the day and gets little sun light. Really his diagnoses of Alzheimer’s sort of snowballed him into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I want to try to reverse this. Just as I’m putting myself on a 6-week regiment of eating for my mind and body and not for pleasure, I’d like to jump start dad’s body with a nutrition overhaul. Its not going to happen overnight and I certainly don’t expect results in a week. But what do we have to lose and what does it really require from us?

He’s already started drinking the Ensure nutrition drinks. I think its paramount that we start experimenting with ways to make him eat healthy foods that will nourish his mind.

But going back further than that, the question how he got to his anxiety prone self in the first place. Lets put the stress associated with his life aside. There are obvious factors that negatively impacted his overall persona during that time. Was it more?

In the UltraMind Solution, there is a heavy emphasis on the correlation of mercury toxins and dementia. Is it possible that this happened to dad? Is he literally a mad-hatter? I mean the guy did drive a $500 Mercedes 300SD diesel from the 1970’s that smelled awful. When the engine wasn’t on, it smelled like mold, when it was on, correct me if I’m wrong but it smelled like exhaust. Did the window’s work on that thing? Jayant was the only other person that really spent any time in that car, did he have mercury toxin problems in high school or currently?

Anita bought some Glutathione to start a mercury detox. I’m not unrealistic about timelines here. It can take 2 years of consistent and persistent detox to rid the body of mercury poisoning. It wouldn’t hurt dad to start sweating again.

About 10 years ago was when dad started eating wheat bread. Is it possible he has a mild allergic reaction to it that causes brain inflammation? I mean how would we ever know? To this day we give him wheat bread because we think its healthy… It could be hurting him.

What do you guys think? Our response to Dad’s diet or lack of is well its Mom’s responsibility. What would happen if we all took an ACTIVE interest in ensuring he gets his nutrition? We changed our mentality about the finances and it we did it. I think we should put our collective energy behind finding (cooking), experimenting foods that dad will eat and that will provide him the nourishment he requires. Worst case scenario, we teach ourselves what we need to eat to stave off our own dementia!

Diabetes

Did you know that Alzheimer's is considered Type 3 diabetes?

Shake Shake Shake & Mitoo

Sitting at Boitano, hanging with Mom today was really uplifting. I feel like she has 2 new things to look forward to in life:
1) Seeing if Dad improves with his shakes
2) Mitoo

So Thank You Family, mainly Pank, for pushing her to purchase a bird and giving her some hope for Dad.

B4N!

More blood pressure worry: It's linked to dementia

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100126/ap_on_he_me/us_med_healthbeat_dementia_blood_pressure

This is an interesting article.

Ahead of the Curve

I was talking to one of my colleagues from NASA (Ed Erickson) this past week about how inaccurate some of the facts on Alzheimers are. Just take a look at my earlier post on the stages and you can see Dad doesn't exactly fit in any of the categories. There are still things he excels at, and of course things he absolutely cannot do. Ed explained to me that when doctor's study diseases the data is analyzed in a bell curve. Most of what we are reading is what falls right in the middle.
We know dad ate turmeric just about everyday, fish once a week, and ran all the time, but he still got Alzheimers. Those preventative measures against Alzheimers are for the average person, I guess. Dad's never really been average. If you've been to any of Dad's doctor's appointments with Dr. Ribaudo, you'd know he still aces the math portions, but he can't read a clock, he can write complete sentences and draw that diagram with shapes, but he can't remember those three words. According the data Stage 6-7 patients should start seeing physical health decline. Dad's been surviving on those Parle-G biscuits for over a year. His health seems to be doing okay, considering. Like usual Dad's falling ahead of the curve...

Guhoroy

I know I completley misspelled his name, but can either Jayant or Pankaj interview the dude and get his perspective on Dad! I mean, he must have some stories!!

Me as Dad

In sixth grade, most kids are in the mode where they rebel against their parents and want to be nothing like them. I could write a thousand words to describe how I went against the grain in this regard, or simply share this picture of my sixth grade graduation. There I was in 1992, the start of grunge era.

Ruby took one look at this picture and burst into laughter. She said to me, "You look like an engineer."

Indeed. I was wearing one of my father's shirts, had pleated pants on and even had a Parker pen, sans pocket protector, in my pocket. I wanted to be my dad.

Unrelated: i never got beat up in elementary school.

Dad and my nicknames

Dad always had a nick name for me.. It was always soo enduring to hear him call me by his created nick name... It start from when I was a little girl, he would call me Rani to when I was in my twenties, he would call me Cookie. Never understood why, just always accepted that, that was our relationship. Something I will always cherish.

Dad and Rekha 2007

Dad still remembers Rekha but he is slowly starting to forget her too.  The other day he asked if this girl was my daughter.  So I pulled this from the archives of when Rekha was just a few weeks old

Dad and Anju

I love this picture.  As you all know, Dad was not able to participate in Anju's wedding.   It was a tough decision to make to not take Dad to the wedding.  We decided it would be too stressful for him.  He gets extremely confused when he leaves the house.  Anju had only one wish the morning of her wedding, and that was to get a pic of her and Dad together.  We had to wake him up to do it.  And I could tell Dad knew something was going on, but he couldn't grasp it.

Blueberry Juice may boost Memory?

Here is a cool article from WebMD, on blueberry juice increasing memory!

http://www.webmd.com/alzheimers/news/20100121/blueberry-juice-may-boost-memory

Finding the rhyme and reason to it all

One thing I keep hearing Mom say is "What did I do to deserve this?  Why is this my fate".   Lately I have been fighting one of my core beliefs that "Everything happens for a good reason".  Because it is hard to find the good reason when something as devastating as this happens.   I am sure Mom thought she was going to live a long life with Dad and she dreamed of getting old with him and all the things that couples imagine themselves going through.  I know she fought the "Alzheimers" label for years.  Thinking this is just a temporary thing.  She even went through a phase where she thought the medicine was making him worse.  And of course there was the phase of the evil curse being put on my Dad.   And now finally she is in the phase of acceptance and its always in acceptance we have to ask "What did I do to deserve this?".  If  the universe worked in such amazing ways of "you get what you deserve" then what exactly did she do to deserve this.  Or better yet, if we expand our scope, what have the children of Haiti done to deserve the fate of losing their parents at such a young age?  Is the simple belief of faith that " everything happens for a good reason and you may not understand the ways of the universe right now, but you will in the long run" strong enough to get past it?

The Stages of Alzheimers

Folks: We've been discussing the stage Dad's in. Here's a list I got from alz.org. I personally feel dad's in stage 6, moving into stage 7.

Stage 1: No impairment (normal function)

Unimpaired individuals experience no memory problems and none are evident to a health care professional during a medical interview.


Stage 2: Very mild cognitive decline (may be normal age-related changes or earliest signs of Alzheimer's disease)

Individuals may feel as if they have memory loss and lapses, especially in forgetting familiar words or names or the location of keys, eyeglasses or other everyday objects. But these problems are not evident during a medical examination or apparent to friends, family or co-workers.

Stage 3:

1) Mild cognitive decline
2) Early-stage Alzheimer's can be diagnosed in some, but not all, individuals with these symptoms
3) Friends, family or co-workers begin to notice deficiencies. Problems with memory or concentration may be measurable in clinical testing or discernible during a detailed medical interview. Common difficulties include:

* Word- or name-finding problems noticeable to family or close associates
* Decreased ability to remember names when introduced to new people
* Performance issues in social or work settings noticeable to family, friends or co-workers
* Reading a passage and retaining little material
* Losing or misplacing a valuable object
* Decline in ability to plan or organize

Stage 4: Moderate cognitive decline (Mild or early-stage Alzheimer's disease)
At this stage, a careful medical interview detects clear-cut deficiencies in the following areas:

* Decreased knowledge of recent occasions or current events
* Impaired ability to perform challenging mental arithmetic-for example, to count backward from 75 by 7s
* Decreased capacity to perform complex tasks, such as planning dinner for guests, paying bills and managing finances
* Reduced memory of personal history
* The affected individual may seem subdued and withdrawn, especially in socially or mentally challenging situations

Stage 5: Moderately severe cognitive decline (Moderate or mid-stage Alzheimer's disease)

Major gaps in memory and deficits in cognitive function emerge. Some assistance with day-to-day activities becomes essential. At this stage, individuals may:

* Be unable during a medical interview to recall such important details as their current address, their telephone number or the name of the college or high school from which they graduated
* Become confused about where they are or about the date, day of the week or season
* Have trouble with less challenging mental arithmetic; for example, counting backward from 40 by 4s or from 20 by 2s
* Need help choosing proper clothing for the season or the occasion
* Usually retain substantial knowledge about themselves and know their own name and the names of their spouse or children
* Usually require no assistance with eating or using the toilet

Stage 6: Severe cognitive decline (Moderately severe or mid-stage Alzheimer's disease)

Memory difficulties continue to worsen, significant personality changes may emerge and affected individuals need extensive help with customary daily activities. At this stage, individuals may:

* Lose most awareness of recent experiences and events as well as of their surroundings
* Recollect their personal history imperfectly, although they generally recall their own name
* Occasionally forget the name of their spouse or primary caregiver but generally can distinguish familiar from unfamiliar faces
* Need help getting dressed properly; without supervision, may make such errors as putting pajamas over daytime clothes or shoes on wrong feet
* Experience disruption of their normal sleep/waking cycle
* Need help with handling details of toileting (flushing toilet, wiping and disposing of tissue properly)
* Have increasing episodes of urinary or fecal incontinence
* Experience significant personality changes and behavioral symptoms, including suspiciousness and delusions (for example, believing that their caregiver is an impostor); hallucinations (seeing or hearing things that are not really there); or compulsive, repetitive behaviors such as hand-wringing or tissue shredding
* Tend to wander and become lost

Stage 7: Very severe cognitive decline (Severe or late-stage Alzheimer's disease)

This is the final stage of the disease when individuals lose the ability to respond to their environment, the ability to speak and, ultimately, the ability to control movement.

* Frequently individuals lose their capacity for recognizable speech, although words or phrases may occasionally be uttered
* Individuals need help with eating and toileting and there is general incontinence of urine
* Individuals lose the ability to walk without assistance, then the ability to sit without support, the ability to smile, and the ability to hold their head up. Reflexes become abnormal and muscles grow rigid. Swallowing is impaired.

Om Shankara

Interesting link when I googlged "What does Om Shankara Mean?":

http://allsaivism.tripod.com/shankarameans.html

Shankara or Sankara can also mean sankata + hara, that is he who destroys or ends all difficulties. Sincere prayers to Shankara can be very effective. The Lord is easily pleased with pure devotion and responds immediately. Siva is known for his boon giving nature, which at times causes trouble because when he is pleased he can be very generous even to the evil characters.

Dad's Infamous Lines

Although Dad doesnt say much anymore, besides for Mom's name, and "Om Shankara"- (which we have got to figure out where he got that from), I hear his voice everyday. And everyday I feel like I am making up for his not being there by actually searching for his voice. Whether it's his random quotes, "Khanike rozi nahin, nahaye ka tharke"- which I still dont know means, to singing songs that definied him.

I thought we could keep Dad alive by remembering his most infamous quotes. So reply back with what you remember Dad saying over and over again.

"Dukharan le ayo?" HAHA. That was for Anju & Pankaj :)

Check out the Alz.org message boards

Renu found this wonderful resource to post your thoughts about Alz and read others:

http://www.alz.org/living_with_alzheimers_message_boards_lwa.asp

The prospect of getting Alzheimers

There really are very few things you can prepare for in life.  In most cases life happens so quickly we simply spend our lives reacting.  The truth about Alzheimers is if your parent had it, you have a 50% chance of getting it.  Now I don't know about you, but 50% is quite high.  Too high to shrug off.

When Dad was diagnosed years ago, I was actually quite happy it was not a brain tumor.  We knew something was wrong and were anxiously awaiting the results.  I remember thinking "Thank God, its not a tumor or cancer or something horrendous".  We didnt know much about Alzheimers and truthfully we all optimistically hoped medicine would solve the problem.  Fast forward to today where we have tried all medications and many different combos of medication and we have nurtured and cared for my Dad in hopes love can cure the way, only to be at a loss on what to do next.  The reality is, Dad died 2 years ago, right now we have a stranger living in our homes.  And sadly because this stranger is here, we really can not mourn his death.

I am starting to wonder, if the rate is 50%, will I get it?  And if so, how much time do I have?  20 more years? 30? 40?  Will I be coherent enough to know what is happening at Rekha's wedding?  My Mom says "Dont worry there will be a cure by the time you are old".  

Live life to the fullest eh?  Every day counts.

On Homes and Hearts

Every week Dad's Alzheimers introduces us to new parts of this devastating disease. In the past couple of months it has begun to dawn on us that maybe we can't always take care of him. Assisted living facilities are probably the next step for him and for us. Over the past couple of weeks, I've had conversations with each of my siblings about this. We all feel that day coming. It's a very emotional decision for all of us... especially Mom.

We all know that home is where your heart is. I wonder where dad's heart is. His memories have faded to unrecognizable moments that he'll randomly talk about. Most of his words are gibberish. His mind has reverted back to Kamalpur, India and so has his language. Sarita found Dad lost in the garage on Monday; he didn't remember how he got there, or how to leave... I don't know how long he was standing in there trying to find a way out. He can't distinguish any of his daughters from each other, and the other day I heard him call Sriram Pankaj. Of course there is the hourly search for Kunty :) He's mistook me for Kunty before. He's asked Sarita if she's Kunty. He asked me once if Sandhya is Kunty. So we know he loves Kunty, if only he could remember who Kunty was. By the way, anyone standing in the kitchen area will be mistaken for Kunty.... considered yourself warned.

I have no doubt that his heart is here at Boitano, and by placing him in a living facility we may break what little spirit he has left. The hopeful side of me believes that maybe he will do fine, he barely remembers any of us. The daughter part of me knows Dad would have never left me in a living facility if something was wrong with me. That being said he is becoming increasingly more difficult to care for: sun-downing, skin fungus, hygiene issues, losing control of his bowel/bladder. It's taking a toll on all of us, but mostly Mom. I can see it in her face, she's being weighed down by this emotionally and physically. It's such a tough decision. What's the right thing to do here?

There is also the obvious question: are we doing him a favor or are we doing ourselves a favor? I think it's more a favor for ourselves... Learning to deal with that may take us a lifetime. Such a tough decision...

Post from Mom

Mom asked me to write this one: I typed what she was saying....

Dad was born to Fulbasi Devi Prasad and Dahan Prasad in small village in Kamalpur, India.  He was born and brought up there, up till Highschool.  After highschool he ran away from home and went to Calcutta.  He stayed in the Ranchi railway station for 2 nights and then he went to Calcutta.  He actually had to conive his way onto the train because he could not afford a ticket.  Then he went to Calcutta.  He stayed with his friends... He had a hard time finding food and worked as a Coolie.  He was underweight so it was tough for him to get a job in manual labor.  One of his friends hooked him up with a Coolie job.  He worked a few days to afford food.  He worked there for a few months and then picked up a job as a boy helping carry vegetables from the rich people as they shopped at the markets.  He would carry a basket on his head and the ladies would place vegetables on the basket and he would follow them around the market and make a few rupees to survive.  A local merchant noticed he could read and asked him if he had any accounting skills.  He jumped at the offer and did the accounting for this merchant.  He really wanted to go to college, but he had no money.  Finally his friends saw potential in him so they all chipped in and paid for his admission ticket.  He quickly got admission at St Xaviers for one year and then he got into Jhadavpur University.   He had a hard time finding food during his college years so he tutored kids and he lived under street lamps on the street.  But he still aced each of his classes and was top in his class.  At this time he was able to send money to his parents and was very proud.  When he passed the college, he went to a happy hour (yes, mom said happy hour) and his friend Gauhara forced him to fill out an application to a position in US and he was accepted right away.  According to Gauhara, my Dad was very "lucky" to get accepted. 

Happy Birthday Dad!

Dad was never a fan of celebrating his birthday. In fact til this day, we have no idea when his birthday is. He believes he was born sometime in the summer (we used to celebrate it in the middle of July, July 25th to be exact). However today is his legal birthday, as stated on his license/passport/legal docs 1/15/1939. So just wanted to give quick shoutout to say Happy Legal Birthday Dad! We love you!

Summary of Dr. Oz Alz Show

Everyone in this world will either know someone who get it or get it themselves.
Over 5 Million folks have it today. (Dad included)
Definition of Alz- Memories, Thoughts, Feelings, Physcalites all lie in Neurons- in Alz Neurons die --> brain shrinks,affecting these functions- leads to death.
No cure yet.
Handful medications.
By age 65, 5% risk of Alz.
Alz brain smaller than healthier brain, bigger ventricles (responsible to memory).

Warning Signs:
Sooner you get help, sooner we can get better.
Genetics. Small % of people have genetic cause. Early onsetters family members have 50% of getting it.
Problem of words- Loss of words. Can be age related. When its more frequent or forget definition than its a warning sign.
Tough time finding stuff.

Prevention:
Excerise everyday
Work out your mind- Mental aerobics: jigsaw puzzles, crossword puzzles
Take care of your diet.
- Curry (India has less folks diagnosed w Alz
- B12
- Vitamin B6
- Fish Oil
- Folic Acid
Dancing!

Dr. Oz is doing a show on Alzheimers

Don't miss this show by Dr. Oz on Alzheimers tommorrow: Jan 14, 2010.  Here is the link: http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/thursday-dr-oz

Team Balesh is participating in Memory Walk 2010

Team Balesh is participating in Memory Walk in San Francisco on Sept 11, 2010 at Mission Creek Park, Mission Bay.  The walk begins at 9:30 AM. 
We would like to raise $1000 as our team goal!  If you would like to donate to our team goal please use the link on the right hand side! 
Here is some information on the Memory Walk: Website

Memory Walk is the nation's largest event to raise awareness and funds for Alzheimer care, support and research. Since 1989, Memory Walk has raised more than $300 million for the cause.

All Memory Walk donations benefit the Alzheimer's Association, the leading voluntary health organization in Alzheimer care, support and research. The mission of the Alzheimer's Association is to eliminate Alzheimer's disease through the advancement of research; to provide and enhance care and support for all affected; and to reduce the risk of dementia through the promotion of brain health.

The careless parent

We never had any rules growing up.  In fact, till this day the Prasad kids do what they want. My parents never yelled at us for leaving our clothes on the floor, or not cleaning up after ourselves.  We never had a bedtime, or chores or any rules to follow.  My parents would let us do what we wanted and when we wanted.  The only thing we had to do was get good grades in school.  It was a must for us to be #1 in our class.  We could wear makeup in gradeschool and not get in trouble, but if we brought home a B on our test we would be busted.  I always thought my parents were careless parents because they didnt micro-manage us growing up.  But the truth of the matter is they did manage us.  They managed us the correct way by instilling a sense of a team in us.  We moved around so much, it was hard to make friends and keep friends.  But we had each other.

I always remeber when my parents moved to the Mission Hills and yet again, I was about to be a new kid at a new school.  I was pretty upset.  This was my 6th new school during my Grade school years and I didn't want to go.  My Dad sat with me and while I cried and fussed he said some profound things to me.  "Sandhya, The people that make it big in life know how to adapt to these changes. This is your chance to do very well at a very good school.  No one is better than you and if you can make it at this school, you can make it anywhere"  Here is a man who left his country and lived on the streets adapting to change every second of his life.  He has no reason to understand my anguish.  I am about to go to the best school in Fremont and frankly, from his point of view, I should be thrilled.   It was this ego-boosting conversation that was instilled in me again and again.  And probably the one conversation I have in my head again and again everytime I feel like I am about to fail.

Right hand man

If my father was asked what he is most proud of in his life accomplishments, without hesitation, his chest would fill with pride and he'd proclaim, MY KIDS. Thats just the kind of guy he was, is and always will be. This is especially notable because my father did not leave a mediocre life. In fact, by all measures, his rise from extreme poverty in Bihar to a respectable lifestyle here in the Silicon Valley is the stuff of legends. I'm not sure he knew what the American dream even was when he came here in 1972 and took a job at a machine shop in Philadelphia, but needless to say his story is an inspiration.

His character and persona don't come out in broad strokes but rather in situational stories. I will try to convey some of these here.

Dad and I always had a special relationship. We were the two men in a family with 6 women. Even at a very young age, my father treated me like an adult. Before I went to school, I would routinely wake up at 5 AM with Dad, pretend to shave with him and put my winnie the pooh suit on to his match his 3 piece attire. I recall him bringing me to work on days that weren't bring your kid to work day. He kind of made his own rules. He would often have me tag along with him to job interviews and business meetings. Most of the time I would just wait in the car or a nearby Fry's Electronics, and be treated to a milkshake for coming along, but sometimes I would attend and he'd cut the tension in negotiations by asking what I thought. I often sat right next to him as he made real estate investments. Oblivious to the magnitude of his decisions and the course they would have on my own life, I think Dad always knew what he was doing.

Still Dad?

When dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's me and my siblings started doing our research on the disease. We read books, articles and watched TV programs to educate ourselves on the disease...

One book that has stayed with me is "Still Alice" by Lisa Genova. It is a fictional book, but has some great insight on this disease. I remember in the book, the character Alice was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, but she still was a person under her inabilities to function in society, normally...

My siblings and I are around my parents house A LOT. We hang out there every Tuesday night as well as on Sundays. My dad will come down, sit next to his space heater, talk to us about anything in Hindi and then go back upstairs. He does this enough times in a day where we have started to realize he has a pattern.

The other day my husband, Sriram was at the house with us and he was sitting on the couch alone, while my Dad was sitting in his normal spot in front of the space heater.. What was amazing to me was when my dad turned to Sriram to talk to him, he realized he was not one of his kids, so instead of speaking to him in Hindi, he started to speak to Sriram in English...

I was in the kitchen listening to them.. That moment reminded me that Dad was Still Dad, inside...

Dad in Bihar

I wish I could have been a fly on the wall during Dad's India days.

Visiting Bihar for the first time in my adult life in May 2009 with Mom, I couldn't fathom how Dad left his village to not only live in Calcutta (a city not too far from his village) but come to America and adjust to American ways (at least somewhat :) )

It's been 30+ years since he left but his village still remembers him. As soon as you walk into his village there is the temple he built many years ago. It definitely does not look brand new, but it is still a place people can go to worship.

When Mom and I turned the corner to get to Dad's house in his village, there were two old men sitting on the floor of the alley and as soon as they saw us, they said "Engineer Ke Saabh ki pariwaar": The Engineer's family.

How did they know we were related to Dad? Because in all the 30+ years that has passed since my Dad left his village, no one else has made it out.

Alzheimer's = Age-Time

This is something I posted on my own blog awhile ago, I just thought I'd re-post and start the blogging!

Every Sunday my family meets up at my parent's house; three generations of Prasad's eating, laughing, and enjoying life. As I watch our family interact, I can't help but notice how similar my aging father acts to my nine month old niece. His condition is Alzheimer's, hers is youth. Anyone that has been around Alzheimer's knows about the degeneration of the inflicted's mind, and childlike behavior that ensues. I go for walks with my father, and I answer the same question 20 times during the 30 minute walk. "Anita when are you getting married?" Soon Dad. I babysit Rekha, and I tell her not to put the remote control in her mouth 20 times. The same amount of patience, attention, and love is required in both settings.

In my parent's home, I'm constantly reminded of time. In this world, time is the only constant, everything else is changing. Time continues to move forward into the infinite, there is no stopping or rewinding it. We all age in the same increments, one year at a time. Though I think age has the ability to come full circle. A 65 year old, can behave like a nine month old. I'm beginning to understand that the only place that time has the ability to fast forward into the future, or rewind into the past is in our heads. I'm watching my Father revert to his village Hindi, a language he hasn't spoken in over 50 years, and I can see that he has gone back in time, to live in a different point in his life. I have heard of cases in Alzheimer's where the patient thinks he/she is 18 again, and decides to behave in that manner. Maybe there such a thing as time travel.

Though scientifically there is no method of physically going back in time, or jumping into the future, I have learned that you can make time stand still. When you are living in the moment, time will stand still...

Baleshwar Prasad aka "Dad"

This is a blog dedicated to my Dad "Baleshwar Prasad" by his children: Pinki, Sandhya, Anita, Anju, Pankaj, Renu and Jayant.  My Dad is still alive and quite happy, but he has been suffering from Alzheimer's for many years now.  As this horrid disease eats away at his memory and cognitive skills we have been working hard to find the "humor" in it.  The truth of the matter is My Dad is quite happy and content in his "Alzheimer's state" its his kids and wife that are suffering around him.  


Our only hopes in creating this blog is to keep Baleshwar Prasad alive.  He was quite an interesting man and in his short lifespan did a lot.   


We have also done a ton of research and found so many great articles and studies done on Alz.  We will post all of our findings as we find them as we hope all of you out there that have loved ones suffering from Alz can benefit from our findings.